My father is at it again. He refuses to change the battery on his car, refuses to change his tires, won't change the oil, won't change the house hvac filter unless he he severely nagged or a problem occurs. And when problems occur he has to be rescued by anyone and everyone unfortunate enough to be on his radar or under his "power." Maybe I've watched too many Dr. Ramani videos but what is going on here?
Last night my mother called me to vent, they were at the tire store because he finally couldn't go anywhere with his bad tire. The tire store said they had to change all 4 even though only one is bad. The price sucked, he doesn't bother asking them any questions he just asks my mother "what should I do?" Which of course annoys her. Yet at times he demands he be treated like the emperor of the world and his decisions are the cause of everyone's well being.
Why does this bother me? Why can't I just let them suffer from their own b.s.? This is Maya.
I suppose I am more bothered by myself for getting annoyed. I'm supposed to be above this by now. Oh well. I keep gaslighting myself. I am so scared yet I know in meditation there is nothing to be scared of. I am limitless. Oh well.
I did my duty and did some tire research and sent them recommendations. He can't find the email. He won't even do that for himself, yet he won't turn over power of attorney so we can start making decisions for him. toI am afraid that if something happens to him, we can't even access his money to take care of him. Oh well.
Fear. Doubt.
Doubt of my path, the Dhammapada verses for today actually increased my doubts instead of removing them. Can't even count on that. I suppose that is a good lesson to learn. What is "good" anyway?
Oh well.
